Do you know who I am?

It appears that during my last run of shifts I was called out to a celebrity. Now I'm no subscriber to OK or Hello magazines but I do watch a fair bit of telly so I do know of some famous people. I also know of a few celebrities who live on my patch. So when a call came in to one of the more dodgy, sorry, deprived areas of town the last person I expected to have on the back of my ambulance was a breakfast TV star.

We've all seen the Little Britain character Vicky Pollard and we all know her catchphrase of "Yer but, neow but, yer but, neow but...." and we are all familiar with that dayglo pink Kappa tracksuit and we all know she is the definition of a Chav. So when I arrived at the address to find the front door hanging off its hinges and someone using four letter words I have never heard of to get their point across with their own personal police officer keeping guard, I was expecting to brush shoulders with Vicky and not someone who has been a star of.......... The Jeremy Kyle show! Not once, not twice but three times! True chat show royalty then.

Not something I would brag about but she took great pleasure in telling me and anyone else who cared to listen. Or that’s what I think she was saying. The alcohol and the inability to sound her "TH's" along with the four letter words certainly made understanding her difficult. With a confused and disgusted look on my face I was waiting for her to ask "Do yous know oo da f**k I is? Innit. Spec bruv".